Rabbit enjoys wallabies, though not as a culinary delicacy as that would make his pet wallaby, Woozle, cry. He works in the Love division of the Department of Mysteries and thinks books are the devil. Though beer and sex are definitely gifts from God and Rabbit enjoys communing with the Holy Ghost. He also possesses blindingly white teeth which he will utilise to disarm enemies and potential mates alike. Rabbit's on a one man mission to pillowify Morag MacDougal. His burial plot has already been paid for in anticipation of her biting his head off ala praying mantis.
Rabbit Angstrom TuorEdit
Nicknames/Aliases: Strangely enough, Rabbit only goes by his given name. Rab sounds terrible, Bit is even worse, and Rabbi is a religious profession so that's out. Tuor is common at work, although 'Unspeakable Tuor' and 'Mister Tuor' are never used - titles are so stuffy in his opinion. No, you're best off just sticking with Rabbit and getting over the idea of a grown man being referred to as that cuddly pet you always wanted as a kid. He might even let you scratch behind his ears if that's what you're into.
Date of birth: May 17, 1979
Wand: 12", cedar, dragon heartstring
Occupation: Unspeakable in the Love Division. Rabbit works on projects involving physical alterations on the heart and mind, as well as the ongoing development of artificial organs to replicate human emotional capabilities inside and outside of a host body.
Home: Born in Crosby, Merseyside. Now lives in a flat in Liverpool city with his pet wallaby, Woozle.
Household: It's just Rabbit and Woozle, living the life.
Mother: Emma McKee: Emma is 57, Irish, with a temper that matches her fiery red hair. She's an English teacher at a boarding school for girls, where she gives more homework than the rest of the department combined and often bends the school's policies in order to take her class on field trips. Emma is the reason that Rabbit learned to pick locks at such a young age, and why he memorized every squeaky floor board in their home by the time he was nine. She can be frightening at times, but means well.
Father: Michael Tuor: 58, Michael's parents raised him on a hippie commune from the age of seven. He wears glasses like John Lennon and typically smells like marijuana and peppermint. Like Emma, Michael also teaches English but is known for his alternative teaching methods rather than his strict ways. He only sits in a chair during dinner, and has more idiosyncrasies than the characters of a Kerouac novel.
Brothers: Gatsby Gulliver Tuor: Gatsby is the eldest of the lot at 34. He's a rugged outdoors man with a large dose of clumsy in his genes - meaning that he's usually getting stitched up or in a cast thanks to his love for fast things and his body's strange pull toward jagged ground. When not tempting fate, Gatsby spends his days in a small cubicle working as an accountant in Little Crosby.
Atticus Finch Tuor: Atticus is Rabbit's identical twin brother, older than him by six and a half minutes. The only other family member with magical ability, Atticus was a Ravenclaw at Hogwarts who embodies all the stereotypes that Rabbit doesn't. Rabbit is unbelievably close to his twin, and rarely goes a day without talking to him in some way or another. Atticus works for The Department of Magical Games and Sports in the publicity department. He lives in Manchester.
Sister: Buttercup O'Hara Tuor: Rabbit's equally odd-named baby sister, Buttercup is 22 and just recently completed her schooling. She currently works as a waitress while she looks for more permanent work and lives with her parents. A bit of a handful, Rabbit often finds her on his couch in the mornings after she's come in from a night of clubbing.
Relationships with each: Rabbit is very close to his family and chose to remain in Liverpool so that they could visit him more easily (since he can apparate, it wouldn't be difficult for him to visit them no matter where he decided to live). The Tuors have been known to get into arguments ending in broken plates and concerned neighbours showing up at their door, but they never mean anything by their bickering. On the whole, they're all extremely loud, excruciatingly opinionated, and impossibly different.
Appearance: A lot like a puppy when it comes to his looks, Rabbit is cute, expressive, and very approachable. He has a sturdy build from being fairly athletic throughout his life, but isn't considered 'buff' by any means - his work outs are usually followed by a trip to the nearest fast food joint, so he's still a bit on the soft side of lean. He has a broad, welcoming smile, and some noticeable baby fat around his face. Rabbit always keeps his hair on the shaggier side, simply because Atticus favours to keep his short. Sometimes he grows a beard, but he only keeps it until he's bored or until his sister drops by and tells him that he looks like a vagrant.
Style of Dress: Rabbit is always dressed more appropriately for a day at the park than he is for a day in the office. He has a rather impressive t-shirt collection bought mainly from street markets and thrift stores, most of which have at least one small hole and some sort of stain (normally from bleach splatters, since he still hasn't gotten the hang of separating his wash). It's rare to find him in something other than jeans, and even rarer to find him wearing shoes that aren't sneakers. When it comes to wizarding attire, Rabbit tends to blanch when asked to wear robes - he's sure that they're only loose fitting dresses despite being told otherwise a dozen and one times before.
Gait: Unrushed with a tendency to walk in a diagonal rather than in a straight line.
Manner of speech: Relaxed and strongly reflective of his mood. Standard Liverpool accent. Has a deep love for slang. Doesn't swear very often. Tends to be quite loud when enthusiastic.
Posture: Straight-backed and tall while still casual, he comes off as more of an athlete than a pompous asshole. He likes to lean against things when he's standing - walls, desks, Morag... whatever.
Typical scent: Coffee, soap, and deodorant. Nothing intentional or even noticeable.
First Impression: Rabbit tends to leave people with a good first impression of him. He's very warm and welcoming, with an infectious smile and relaxed air. He comes off as very familiar and treats people like he's known them for ages with no need for ceremony and no indication of judgement.
Personality: Rabbit is a lot like a favourite chair - he’s warm, comforting, reliable, and he doesn’t really mind being sat on. Generally, he’s very easy going and rarely ever seems stressed; he’s so casual that it can sometimes seem like he just doesn’t care. He likes making people happy, and thinks that bad moods are a bit like a plague that infects anyone around the source - and he knows all about bad moods, since he works in the land of pre-menstrual, overstressed, hard-asses who would all rather work through their lunch than grab a slice of pizza. Rabbit is not that person.
He likes pizza for one, and for another… he works for a living, he doesn’t live to work. You won’t find hearts and formaldehyde in his home, and he really doesn’t want to talk about that new potion that’s being tested outside of the office. If you’re going to meet him after work, you’re going to grab a pint, you’re going to watch a football match, and you’re going to get yourself cut off every time you mention anything remotely academic.
He’s a genuinely friendly guy who likes talking to anyone about anything and has a habit of making longterm acquaintances out of chance meetings. And even when there’s no relationship blooming from that brief chat he had on the bus, he always tends to leave with the assumption that you’ll see him again - even if it’s only by chance. He's easy to get along with, and very easy to like. He never forgets a name or face, and always remembers whose grandmother is sick, whose sister is pregnant, and whose son is getting married. He won’t just say ‘hi’ to someone he's met before, he generally cares about how others are doing and doesn't leave until he’s sure that everything is alright in their life.
Although he doesn’t have many true friends, the ones he does have are extremely important to him. He’s extremely loyal to them, sometimes beyond comprehension. Rabbit has a large big brother streak and is drawn toward people he feels need protecting or cheering up - and once he has his mind set on someone, it’s almost impossible to set him off course or drive him away.
While very intelligent, Rabbit doesn’t give off many indications that he’s anything other than average -he doesn’t use a large vocabulary, he tends to avoid reading, he finds little pleasure in discussing philosophy. He learns quickly though, and is usually able to figure something out long before it’s explained to him. He has an intrinsic understanding of how most things work and is able to relate pretty much anything to something that he’s seen and worked with before, even if the two sound completely different to someone else. He’s been grouped into the ‘bright but lazy’ category his entire life, and he’s not making any moves to change that. He’s thoroughly interested in what he likes, and couldn’t care less about what he doesn’t. And when something doesn’t interest him, he tends to avoid it. Which is why his paperwork is always behind. Always.
Political Views: Rabbit isn't too concerned with the world of politics and tries to stay as far out of political conversation as possible, since participating will undoubtedly make him sound like a complete idiot and ignoramus. Of course, being muggleborn, he doesn't support the idea of blood supremacy, but he also doesn't think the two worlds should get together for a nice pre-teen dance where they're forced to mingle. That'd just end horribly. The war scared the shit out of him, and he thought for a long while about forcing his family to leave the country so they could be safe. Thankfully, the war ended before any of his plans could come into play and he's reverted to his favoured state of political ignorance and nonchalance.
Strengths: Potions, care of magical creatures, herbology, charms, mechanics, engineering, kinesthetic learning, friendly, loyal, quick to learn and react, intelligent, caring, respectful, reads people easily, confident, optimistic.
Weaknesses: History of magic, astronomy, arithmancy, divination, poor speller, maths without purpose (he likes physics, but doesn't see the point in a bunch of formulas that have no use other than making you feel uppity about being able to complete them), verbal learning, quick to jump to conclusions, can be overbearing, relies strongly on the approval of others.
Boggart: A post-apocalyptic Liverpool.
Patronus: Golden retriever.
Mirror of Erised: Playing lead guitar in front of a gigantic arena full of screaming fans.
Amortentia Potion: Chocolate chip cookies, woodsmoke, lemons, wet earth.
Fears and Philias: Has a very intense fear of drowning after he was pulled under by the ocean's current when he was younger; he's not aquaphobic by any means - he does like showers, baths, and sprinklers, but it'll be a cold day in hell before you find him in a pool or open body of water. He's very protective of his family, and fears losing them - he's especially concerned for his mother, younger sister, and twin, but rarely fusses over Gatsby, even though he's more likely to be injured than the rest of them combined. He loves music in all forms, wizarding and muggle; he frequently goes to shows alone or with friends, and spends a good deal of his wages on records, concert tickets, and cds. He loves taking things apart, putting things together, and working with his hands in general. He likes getting dirty, adrenaline rushes, and pretty much anything that will leave him with a few bruises and sore muscles in the morning.
Video games in general
Working on cars
Taking long distance train rides
- His bright pink ipod that he fondly calls Heffalump.
- Woozle, his pet wallaby, if Woozle can be considered a belonging. Rabbit has been known to bring her into the Department on days when he knows he'll be working late.
- A chipped 'I love my daddy!' coffee mug that he gave to his father when he was six and stole back when he left home.
- A battered and worn Woodstock t-shirt that he picked up in a thrift store a few years ago.
- His lucky match day socks for when the Reds play.
- His grandfather's swiss army knife.
Anfield, Liverpool FC's stadium. He's been going to matches there since he was a kid, and still goes when he can.
His bedroom. He likes sleeping, he likes sex... if it normally goes on in a bedroom, chances are that he likes it. His bedroom is by far the most used room in his flat, and unless he has company over, Rabbit uses it for everything from doing his paperwork to watching television to eating dinner.
Ben Nevis. On long weekends and vacations he still goes there to hike and climb; he tried ice climbing for the first time last winter and ended up with three broken bones and a large gash on his side from falling... but he'll probably try it again this winter. People heal.
- He was extremely angry and bitter when Atticus proposed to his fiancee, afraid that his twin would come to love someone more than he loved Rabbit - he won't mention it, and he doesn't show it, but the feeling is still there. He knows he's being selfish and immature, and is trying to get over his feelings of resentment before the wedding.
- He has no desire to be amazing or extraordinary, and feels that being average should be perfectly acceptable (but it's not). He sometimes wonders if God... or whatever, gave him magical abilities just to spite him.
When word got around that Michael and Emma Tuor were having another child people actually took bets on what the new baby’s name would be. Michael, a flower child of the highest degree, often gave his own students nicknames that he felt were reflective of their personalities - Sunshine, Stormcloud, Misty… for people who knew him best, they were sure that the new baby would be graced with a name that sounded more appropriate when heard during the weather report. Emma, a total bibliophile who was more likely to have posters of Duras than The Beatles on her wall as a child, was responsible for naming their first child. Gatsby, a name that everyone immediately understood the reference of, often received blank stares and half-stifled laughs when he was introduced. So no matter who was in charge, everyone knew that the new baby would be the only one of its name in the hospital - Atticus and Rabbit upheld that promise with ease.
Identical down to their eyelashes, the twins were named for two of literature’s strongest male characters. Atticus Finch, for the main protagonist of To Kill a Mockingbird, and Rabbit Angstrom, of John Updike’s Rabbit series. Their parents thought they were being smart, that the boys would grow up instilled with the strength of their namesakes… everyone else thought they were insane.
As it so happened, Atticus had no desire to become a lawyer, and Rabbit certainly showed no interest in living an extraordinary life. In all ways, the boys were blessedly normal. And absolutely impossible to separate. When it came to their hobbies, Atticus and Rabbit had some different interests, but if one wanted to join karate, then the other went along. They had no desire to be apart, and prided themselves on being perfect compliments. Stereotypically, the boys developed a language of their own before they could speak fluent English, they seemed to sense when the other was distressed, and they kept no secrets from each other.
School was uneventful for Rabbit, and it was in their academics that the two boys differed. Where Atticus excelled in his studies, Rabbit struggled to concentrate in class - often tuning his teachers out in favour of doodling or staring out the window. It was because of him that the boys transferred schools when they were eight, after their previous headmaster suggested that Rabbit find somewhere that he could receive more attention - something that was difficult to come by in the crowded school they started out in. All the tests said that he was an extraordinarily bright child, but his marks weren’t reflective of that. He was too bored with maths to care, hated reading, rarely finished his assignments, and couldn’t spell to save his soul. But Rabbit loved music class, picked up instruments easily, built clocks with ease in shop, and was brilliant when it came to lab sections of his science classes. It was as if he just didn’t care about the things that didn’t interest him… and he didn’t.
Raised in a suburb of Liverpool, Rabbit spent most of his time, as he does now, outdoors. His father especially was very nature-oriented, and would often take his children into the country on the weekends. Rabbit and Gatsby particularly looked forward to their outings, where they would hike, climb, sail, and ski until they were bruised and exhausted. Blessed with an unnatural amount of energy, he was happiest when he was able to tire himself out completely. Constantly urged to move, Rabbit used his energy to his benefit and began playing Rugby at a very young age - by the time he was ready to enter secondary school, he had received several scholarships to leave home for more prestigious institutions. And he did attend a prestigious school, just not the sort that his parents imagined for him.
On their eleventh birthday, both Rabbit and Atticus found themselves being pecked at by large barn owls while walking home from a friend’s. The owls, of course, carried letters of acceptance to the mysterious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They laughed about it at first, but soon after receiving the information they were visited by a professor from the school, who quickly wiped away any doubts. It did make sense when they thought about it, after all the strange occurrences that they were never able to explain. And a few months later they ran through a solid stone wall, their mother screaming in fright, to the train that would take them to school.
Both boys were sorted, without hesitation, into Ravenclaw. Rabbit found this particularly amusing, since he had never been bookish or called a nerd in his life. It fit his brother, sure, but he was certain that he belonged in the house of the underachievers. Wherever that may be. But he didn’t complain, glad that he wouldn’t be going through this strange, strange experience alone.
Hogwarts was definitely an experience. And for once, Rabbit found that there were several classes that he was actually really good at. He kicked ass in potions, for example, and got a total thrill out of creating different elixirs. Herbology was equally interesting, the plants full of life like he had never seen - they actually seemed to have personalities of their own. He excelled in those subjects, did well in several others, and for the most part made it through school just fine. Or he would have, if he was measured by a standard that wasn’t Ravenclaw’s. To them, Rabbit was a complete anomaly. He put off reading - hell, he actually avoided it, he was satisfied with average grades, he rarely stressed, he skipped class in favour of sleeping in, and he tended to forget when assignments were due. But he took it all in stride, spending his time exploring the wonders of magic, focusing on his own interests rather than worrying about classes that he planned to drop as soon as OWLs were over.
When it came time to start looking for a career, Rabbit was thoroughly lost. He liked building things, engineering, fixing - and there were hardly any job choices that touched on that. Administrative jobs would probably cause him to commit boredom related suicide, and all of the pamphlets that were passed out to fifth year students just didn’t fit. At his meeting with Professor Flitwick, it was suggested that he go into something stimulating - training wild animals, perhaps, or looking into archaeology. Curse breaking, maybe? Flitwick knew that he would only do well if he was interested, and left out many of the typical choices, including anything involving the Ministry. Rabbit was firm. He wanted to become an Unspeakable. Flitwick’s reaction was something along the lines of, “uh… what?”, but Rabbit was sure. When asked why, he replied “I don’t like any of the careers with descriptions, this one has to be good if they won’t tell you anything about it.”
He was logical. No one could argue about that.
Career in mind, Rabbit actually worked for the remainder of his schooling, and managed to finish with marks that were impressive even by his house’s standards. It really wasn’t too difficult, once he dropped the classes he didn’t like. But the end of the year wasn’t marked by his success at all, instead it was marked by tragedy.
Rumours had been spreading wildly that year, mentions of Voldemort and the rise of Dark Magic. Rumours that Rabbit tried desperately to ignore. But when the Minister himself stated that he had seen the Dark Lord (in the Ministry!), there was no use trying to deny it. He was back, and war was on.
Seventh year was stressful, both Rabbit and Atticus never mentioning the war to their parents, afraid that their family would become a target if they were made aware. If they did something stupid and became involved. The boys kept their heads down, kept their friends close, and kept in careful contact with their family. And at the end of their final year, after their Headmaster’s funeral, Rabbit and Atticus divulged what was happening to their muggle relatives.
Neither of the twins returned to the wizarding world after they graduated, choosing instead to remain in the muggle world. With the war raging, their blood status was enough reason for them to be targeted. Atticus spent the year working with Gatsby in accounting, and Rabbit put an old hobby to use when he applied to work at an auto shop. They kept close tabs on what was happening with the war, and had managed to get their family to agree to move to Australia until it was over. But those plans never took course, and the war ended after only two years.
It wasn’t until 2000 that Rabbit applied for work in the Department of Mysteries. Atticus had already been accepted into the Department of Games and Sports, and it was at his brother’s urging that he left the garage and went to the ministry. To his surprise, even after three years away from the magical world, he was accepted into the preliminary course of testing and interviews. It was rigorous, exhausting, and he almost quit several times before coming up with the determination to continue through until the end.
He chose to specialize in Love after a lengthy internal debate between that and Thought. The brain and the heart caught his interest immediately, both reminiscent of the machines he enjoyed working on. They weren’t as abstract as Death, much more relevant than Space, and their constant presence ranked them both far about Time. In the end, it was the human heart that he chose because of the connection he felt to it. To him, it was both easy to understand and completely impossible to wrap his mind around. He could feel the possibilities that could come from studying it, from altering it, and he wanted to make those possibilities a reality.
He moved into his flat in Liverpool during his training, living away from his brother for the first time in his life. They had tried living in separate flats after school, but it simply hadn’t worked out and they found themselves living together again after only three weeks apart. This time it was different, and although Atticus often comes by unannounced and Rabbit will head to his brother’s when he’s having a bad day, they’ve managed to keep their lives somewhat separated. Rabbit still isn’t very comfortable with the arrangement, but he’s been keeping his mouth shut since his brother has been so insufferably happy with his fiancée. He’s not ready to fall into the world of serious just yet.
PB: Zachary Levi